His Will

If you asked me why the sky is blue, or why the leaves change in the fall I could answer without hesitation. I know the answers to nearly every math problem and could tell you all about geography. But, what I couldn’t tell you is why bad things happen. I don’t know why people die too young, or why the kindest of hearts tend to suffer the most. I just don’t know, and I probably never will. But what I do know is this; it will make you a better person if you let it.

It wont be easy. I can’t promise you how long it will hurt, but I can promise you that if you use it as fuel it will be your fire, and not your downfall. I myself, through all of my struggles have grown as a friend, lover, family member, and overall person. Not because of all the pleasant, happy times in my life, but from the bad ones. The terrible, begging God for answers, up at 3 a.m. holding yourself as you cry, things. And I get it, it’s so easy to fall into that place, and to not see a way out. Everyone around is telling you, “Theres a light at the end of the tunnel.” But you stand there in silence wondering to yourself how long that damn tunnel is. Believe me, it’s there. The reason that God chose this storm for you might be unknown, but he has a plan much greater to get you out of it.

What I’ve learned, if I’ve learned anything at all from the bad things, is that they don’t last forever. And although I don’t know why they happen, and it seems entirely unfair most days, I trust God’s plan, finding peace and strength in knowing that it’s his will, and not my own.

The Truth About Missing You

They said that it would come in waves, missing you. They insisted that although the skies would be dark that the storm would pass. They weren’t entirely wrong.

Missing you does come in waves, but they’re tsunami waves. Crashing down on me, leaving me breathless. When the storm hits, the skies do get dark, just as everyone promised that they would. But what they didn’t say was that every time the skies went dark and the waves crashed down, they would devastate. Obliterating all the progress that had been made since the last storm. I would be left to once again pick up the pieces of the mess that’s left.

It’s there every day. The dull ache in my chest. It’s in everything that I do from the moment I wake up until the moment I’m asleep. I feel it nagging at me, begging to be acknowledged. Everywhere I go I’m reminded that you’re no longer a part of me, and every time I’m reminded it’s as though my entire world is crashing down. You see, the truth is that I saw a future with you beyond just a partner, but a best friend. And to lose both of those parts of you ripped my heart out of my chest.

When they ask about you, I smile. I tell them that today will be a better day for me. And that next week will be easier. But the truth about missing you, is that it’s only gotten harder, and I don’t think I’ll ever stop.

Everyone fears change. Why? Because it’s uncomfortable; and very few people in this world like to be uncomfortbale. Myself included. But have you ever stopped to look at the people around you that embraced the uncomfortable? In every case that I can think of in my own experiences, it payed off. These situations are learning experiences, and they are growing experiences. You see, although change can be scary, and it may feel uncomfortable, it can also be the best thing that ever happens to you if you allow it to. Our society has gotten oh so good at settling. We’ve taught and been taught that it’s okay to give up as long as you gave it your absolute best, and that sometimes this life is just unfair to us. No. Wrong. Never give up. Never stop pushing. Every last one of us is given the same 24 hours in a day, and if you choose wisely what to do with it, I guarantee you won’t think that this life is unfair. This world owes you nothing. Earn it. Work for it. You don’t know whats right on the other side of that comfort zone. It may be everything that you’ve ever wanted. So take the leap of faith, get comfortable with being uncomfortable, and although it might be scary, take that first step. Your dreams depend on it.